OC bio

NAME: Amaya/Lady Umbra/Arisca Roundhouse
HAIR: dyed, current shade: purple
EYES: silvery green
HEIGHT/WEIGHT: tall/slim
MAGIC TYPE: necromancer, uses the right hand gauntlet of Lord Vile's armor to chanal her power
OTHER WEAPONS: throwing knifes, Glok 17
AGE: 346 years old, looks about 17
WHY THE NAME?: amaya is what skulduggery and his wife,Heather, named her. then she was *spoiler* and sent to work for *spoiler* as Lady Umbra, head spy of *spoiler*. after killing *spoiler* she took the name Arisca Roundhouse and went to live with Lydia Musing
RANDOM NOTES: zomg!she's skulduggerys kid!  Arisca can dislocate her joints easily and painlessly, then pop them back together, weird i know
ill post more later

Chiduggery part 2

Valkyrie and Fletcher appeared in the study and gaped at each other.

            “oh… my… GOD…”said Valkyrie and before Fletcher could reply the shadows gathered and Anarchy Rose stood next to them.

            “why did you tell us to go to the apartment?” demanded Valkyrie

            “well…” said Anarchy, tugging on a violent pink streak in her hair, “I was tired of watching China and Skulduggery circle, like equal pieces on a chess board, so I just clunked there heads together and enjoyed the show” she turned to Fletcher “20 bucks says that they do a cover-up” Fletcher considered for a second then shook her hand.

            “deal”

            “Hey!” said Valkyrie “I’m sure Skulduggery will be thrilled to hear that we’re betting on him, but-“

            “how sure?” challenged Fletcher and Valkyrie glared at him

            “20 bucks, I feel bad for taking your money” she said and Anarchy gave a cough that sounded like “hypocrite”. Valkyrie continued rather pointedly,

            “Anarchy, why are you here anyway?” she shrugged

            “this is a really big house so I figured that you’d have a guest room, I want to stick around for a few days and see how this turns out, and I also want to see how much money Fletcher owes me.” Fletcher stuck his tongue out at her and she ignored him,

            “that’s fine, I guess” said Valkyrie “I’ll show you around”

*  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *

at 9 am-ish the next morning Anarchy walked into the kitchen where Valkyrie and Fletcher already were eating breakfast.

            “morning” she said cheerfully snagging the cereal box from Fletcher and rummaging through the cabinets for a bowl. As Anarchy was just finishing up her cereal Valkyrie herd the familiar purr of the Bentley pulling up

            “here comes Skulduggery” she said softly to Anarchy and she grinned

            “good”. skulduggery opened the front door and called out;

            “Val? where are you?”

            “in the kitchen!” Valkyrie called back and a moment later he stood in the door way. Skulduggery walked in and put a file folder in front of Valkyrie

            “we got an assignment from Guild, he wants us to investigate a murder of …” he trailed off and looked up at Valkyrie. She was giving him the evil eye. He sighed,

            “get it if your chest, everyone” He said wearily and everyone started talking at once.

            “Skulduggery and China sittin’ in a tree-“

            “God, Skulduggery! Are you going on a date?!”

            “bawhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!” that last comment was made by Anarchy who was rolling on the floor, laughing.
           " Skulduggery! are going out with China?" asked Fletcher and Skulduggery was silent for a moment or two then, quietly, he said; "yes"
           "haha!" said Fletcher triumphantly snatching a 20 dollar bill from Anarchy's grip, and Skulduggery rounded on them
          "you two where betting on me?!" he roared and Valkyrie pulled the bill from Fletchers hand
          "three" she corrected, smoothly pocketing the cash.

 the rather trashy second part of my chiduggery story. i wasn't planning on posting it and it isn't finished but whatever. enjoy the rubbish!

FUNNY!!

i haven't been typing much lately, sorry! here's a funny comic-y thing from Q-kid on deviant art. link

sorry cant make it any bigger! use the link

=(

 No one commented on my Tanya Espionage story, do you not like it? :'(  *sniff- sniff, big puppy eyes*

This will make you smile =)

(note! the stared ones are not mine. they are bill-e-the-badger's at deviant art.com. thanks for the inspiration bill-e!)

20 ways to annoy Skulduggery Pleasant!

*1) Next time he goes to bleach his skull, replace it with hot-pink hair dye.

*2) Don't just take the hat hostage, why not the suit as well?

 *3) Next time he needs to meet you, stand him up and go shopping with china.

*4) Call him a bone-head both behind his back and to his face.

*5) Since he uses long and complicated word that you don't under-stand try out some

abbreviations and street slang and see how that fares out.

*6) Hot-wire the Bentley and go on a joy ride.

*7) Talk about how lovely Serpine's hair hair and skin are.

*8) Every-time he get something wrong, tell him that if he hand a brain he'd be dangerous!

*9) Dye his fedora pink and purple.

10) "Barrow" his head for your Halloween party.

11) Complain loudly when he won't let Finbar Tattoo you.

12) Spill coke in the Bentley.

13) Tell him that if he get a motorcycle, he'd be the ghost rider.

14) Make fun of the little bow on his hat.

15) NEVER let him live down the pink bunny hospital gown.

16) Point out just how stupid his disguise really is.

17) Replace his Frank Sinatra with the Spice Girls.

18) Un-tie his shoe laces, laugh when he trips.

19) Stand on his hat. (simplicity at its best).

20) Make up your own! (im to lazy to think one more up).

i giggle when i read these, no mater how cruddy the day has been =)

Chiduggery part 1

China walked in-between the book shelves that where her pride and joy. She had a small stack of books of in her left arm and she shelved them with her right, just as she was pushing the last book into its place she saw a tall, thin figure up ahead. His head was bent over a book and he was perfectly still, only moving to flip the page. China hesitated and then walked over, face a perfect mask.
“Evening, Skulduggery “she said, perfectly civilized
“Mmm… What? Oh, hello China”
“Where’s Valkyrie? I rarely see you with out your sidekick these days”
“She out on a date with Fletcher Renn” China razed a delicate eyebrow and Skulduggery snorted “you didn’t know?” he asked, disbelieving.
“I have heard rumors… but its always nice hearing it from a firsthand source”
“Speaking of rumors, anything new that you’ve heard? Prison breaks, murders, that sort of thing?”
“Well, I don’t think so… but if you want I can check my email and see if there’s anything new” she had lade the bait, now if he’d just…
“Thanks, China. That would be great.”
“Not at all” she said with a serene smile, letting no emotion escape the mask. Skulduggery put his book back and followed China out of the library and across the hall to her apartment, she unlocked the door and Skulduggery walked in after her, closing the door behind him. China when over to her desk and sat down, flicking the power switch on as Skulduggery stood behind her. She opened up her mail box and groaned, the only new mail was one with the subject line of; “I IS VISITING U”
“What?” Skulduggery asked, wondering if it was really bad news. China opened the email and skulduggery read over her shoulder. The email said;

hey im visiting you on the 3rd at 6ish CU soon
Anarchy

“Who’s Anarchy?” asked Skulduggery wondering who could pull such a reaction from china
“Anarchy Rose is an orphan, her father died during the war and her mother asked me to help her when she was in need before she died.” China sighed “she’ll be here any minute, she has a knack for showing up exactly when she’s not wanted” as if to prove her point the door flew open and a tall, thin girl sauntered into the room. Her hair was streaked with neon colors, blue, green, and purple and she had on a black tank top with black skinny jeans.
“Chiiiiiina!” she trilled with a heavy Boston accent, then she turned to Skulduggery “who are you?” China was determined not to let Anarchy mess up her plans.
“Rose, this is Skulduggery Pleasant” Anarchy Rose grinned and dumped her back pack on the floor.
“I’m Anarchy Rose” she said and Skulduggery shook her hand. He could see that she was a necromancer and, by the way the shadows coiled around it, he could tell that her object of power was her silver cuff bracelet.
“I’m off to the Temple Bar” Rose said dropping to her knees and pulling a wallet out of her back pack “oh, and Skulduggery? Watch out for China, the last time she had on such a poker face was when I smashed all the mirrors in the apartment” she smiled cheerfully “I almost died! Anyway, she has a plan, I know that much” smiling a smile that would make a wolf proud, Anarchy waved a hand and the shadows stretched to her, twisted around her, and she was gone. China sat heavily on the couch, head in her hands, all her carefully thought out plans where ruined, trash, gone with the wind.
“China?” Skulduggery sounded worried and slightly wary and China made her decision. She looked up and Skulduggery saw the fire in her eyes.

Valkyrie was sitting in the study, telling Eco-Gordon about her date with Fletcher when the shadows started to clump together in the center of the well lit room. The shadows cleared, depositing a girl with very vibrant hair in the room.
“can I help you?” asked Valkyrie, casually reaching for the dagger in the desk drawer.
“yeah, I’m Anarchy Rose, a friend of China Sorrows and she needs you and Fletcher Renn at her apartment, now.”
“why?” asked Valkyrie
“something about a prison break, she said you could teleport straight into the apartment” Valkyrie nodded and the shadows swallowed Anarchy again.
“Fletcher!” Valkyrie yelled and he appeared before her
“what?” he asked
“China needs us at her apartment; she said we can teleport straight in.”
“do we half to go now?” whined Fletcher and Valkyrie rolled her eyes
“now, Fletcher” she said holding out her hand. Fletcher held on to her hand and in a blink they where in the apartment.

Valkyrie stared.
Fletcher stared.
China and Skulduggery stood in the middle of the room, Skulduggery had his arms around China and he was holding her tightly. They all stared at each other for a couple seconds, then Anarchy walked in the door. She grinned and picked her back pack off the floor.
“my work here is done.” She said with a grin and the shadows whisked her away before anyone one could even try to hit her. Valkyrie grabbed Fletcher hand and then they where gone too. China sighed and looked up at Skulduggery
“there will be hell later” she said and she sighed again “I should have told you this decades ago. I love you Skulduggery” he was silent for a moment then he held her tighter
“I love you to, China”


Bwhahahahahha! This is one of my favorite storys! i sorta wanted it to be like you thought  china was going to destroy Skulduggery, but then it was something different. Please comment!

I'm good!

as a challenge to myself i timed how long it took me to read Skulduggery Pleasant "Scepter of the Ancients". cover to cover, start to finish, no skipping it took me...
*drum roll* 2 hours 7 minutes. that's right, 2 hours 7 minutes to read an almost 400 page book, how impressed are you? I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good, I'm good *does little dance*

fanfic 2

The door bell rang; interrupting Valkyrie and Tanith from their breakfast. Tanith, who was standing by the window munching on toast, looked at Valkyrie and said,

            “You own the house, Val.” Muttering, Valkyrie put down her cereal bowl and walked down the hall to answer the door. As she pulled the door open she was greeted with the sight of a girl, dressed in black and with enough weaponry on her to equip an army. Before Valkyrie could do any thing the girl spoke.

            “I’m not going to hurt you! I’m Tanya Espionage and I have information on  Billy-Ray Sanguine that could lead to his capture.” Valkyrie hesitated and then said

            “I’m Valkyrie Cain, come in. What sort of information?”

            “All sorts of information, where he is, what can hold him, you know.” They walked in to the kitchen and Valkyrie said “Tanith, this is Tanya Espionage, Tanya this is Tanith Low. Tanya says she has information on Billy-Ray Sanguine.” Tanith made a muffled sound that, even through a mouthful of toast, could easily be identified as her cursing Billy-Ray’s name, “I agree” said Tanya. Rolling her eyes, Valkyrie walked in to the living room to call Skulduggery. When she went back in to the kitchen Tanya and Tanith were sitting at the table, eating their way through a box of toaster pastries.

            “A few minutes till Skulduggery’s here.” Valkyrie said, taking a Pop-Tart and munching on it. Five minutes later the Bentley pulled up outside of Gordon’s house and

Skulduggery walked in.with introductions out of the way, Valkyrie prompted Tanya with a subtle “Well, what kind on information do you have for us?” Tanya sighed and looked around at all of them.

            “Billy-Ray Sanguine has been training me since before I could walk to become ‘the ultimate mercenary’ but I don’t like killing at all, and that’s why I’m tuning him in. this was supposed to be my first mission and he told me if I failed I would be in big trouble…” She stopped talking then and trembled, probably thinking of what Billy-Ray defined as “trouble”. Tanith put a comforting arm around Tanya’s shoulders “what was the mission?” she asked curiously. Tanya looked up at her with sad eyes, “I was supposed to kill, you.” Tanith gasped and looked at her funny, a mix of pity and sadness, ‘poor girl’ thought Tanith knowing that Tanya never wanted this life. Valkyrie, who was looking angry for her friend, glared at Tanya and said “spill” Tanya gave a weak half smile and asked “were to start?”

  *  *  *  *  *

Billy-Ray Sanguine was sitting in a chair with his boots up on the table; he heard the apartment door open, then close with the looks clicking shut. Tanya walked into the kitchen were Billy was sitting and went strait for the fridge and started to rummage around, trying to find a soda. “You took your time!” sneered Billy-Ray, Tanya didn’t even look up from her rummaging.

            “I needed time to get the detective of my tail. It was unavoidable.”

            “Still, a week!” Tanya had found a coke and was standing, sipping calmly at it. “Sorry” she said, then she pulled one of her giant hunting knifes out and pointed it at Billy-Rays face, “so sorry” she said sarcastically, grinning at Billy. He swore as Tanith walked up behind Tanya, sword out. He was about to sink in to the ground when a voice behind him said “I wouldn’t do that”; he spun to see the barrel of Skulduggery Pleasant’s revolver pointed at his face. Billy-Ray looked desperately at Tanya who was sitting on the table sipping her coke as if she hadn’t a care in the world. He gestured wildly at the pistol she had in a leg holster “drop ‘em!” he cried desperately. Tanya looked calmly at Skulduggery and asked “may I?” The skeleton detective nodded and said “Be my guest.” Tanya smiled and pulled a pair hand cuffs out of her back pocket.

            “Billy-Ray sanguine, by the power endowed unto under the sanctuary rule of justice, I’m placing you under arrest for murder, attempted murder, collaborating against the sanctuary…” she grinned “the list goes on and on”. Sanguine swore.

            “Are you for getting who I am?! I’ll be out of these cuffs and gone the second that gun wavers!”

            “Are you forgetting what I know?” Tanya asked calmly and Billy-Ray paled. “You wouldn’t!” he yelled pulling and thrashing against the shackles, but it was no use.

            “Your powers are bound.” Tanya informed Billy as he pulled on the hand cuffs “and the lovely cell you’ll be held in is bound too.” Billy, who was now constantly swearing, glared at Tanya “why?” he asked. Tanya smirked, “the first lesson you taught me was ‘never trust no one’ to bad you didn’t follow your own advice”. She walked out, nodding to some cleavers being led by Valkyrie up the stairs. She went down the stairs and out into the cool night air.

Tanya Espionage has left the building.

it will be a while till i type up the next one. am i the only one who thinks Valkyrie and Billy-ray would be perfect together? ohh, that's the next story im typing' up. Valguine! squeel!

Billy-Ray Sanguine, Valkyrie Cain, Tanith Low, Skulduggery Pleasant C golden god (AKA Derek Landy)

Tanya Espionage is mine! do not use her without asking nicely! say please!

hey

ok ill post another story on Sunday im a really ssslllooowww typer

Dusk vs Twilight

Valkyrie moaned. She slouched up the stairs of her house and walked down the hall to her room, stopping just long enough to let the reflection out of the mirror and to pull on her work clothes. Skulduggery had forced her to go to school today and she was going to destroy him for that. She walked out of the house and heard the reflection click the lock closed behind her. A short walk brought her to the corner as Tanith’s bike was pulling up, Tanith nodded and handed Valkyrie the extra helmet, saying something that might have been “Hey, Val”, but was completely muffled by the helmet. A short ride later they pulled up outside of Gordon’s house and Tanith pulled off her helmet
    “Bad day at school?” Asked Tanith, looking at her friends gloomy face and Valkyrie groaned
    “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’” said Tanith cheerfully, walking into the house. Valkyrie followed her into the kitchen and watched her rummage in the cupboards for a package of cookies,
    “What happened at school today?” asked Tanith, handing a package of “Death by Fudge” cookies to Valkyrie and sitting at the table.
    “Well…” said Valkyrie, stuffing three or four cookies in her mouth, “they’re making us read,” Valkyrie stalled and reached down and pulled a book out of her bag.
    “ohmygod!” said Tanith looking at the cover “ you’ve got to read, that!” they stared at the book on the table for a couple seconds, then they both cracked up.
    “Sparkly!” gasped out Valkyrie and Tanith fell off the chair she was laughing so hard.
    “That woman is a great writer and all, but still!” said Tanith, once she had regained some composure “how are you going to get rid of it?” Valkyrie smiled an evil smile.
    “I have plans” was all she’d say

*****

Dusk roared with anger. On the bed in his small cell was a cardboard box and in the box was a book. A sticky note on the cover said; “Enjoy! From Valkyrie Cain. P.S why don’t you sparkle?”

HAHA! i found this on deviant art. its by TheVooDooFish

                                                                           

please comment!
 Valkyrie, Tanith, Dusk, and Skulduggery C Derek Landy